Nothing to fear but fear itself.

Photo by:   Daquella manera

 

There is nothing to fear but fear itself. -Franklin D. Roosevelt

What exactly is fear? Fear does not play by the rules.  What causes fear in me (creepy clowns and Easter bunnies), will not necessarily cause fear in someone else.  Fear is sneaky and underhanded.  It cunning and resourceful and knows how to uniquely tailor it’s message to each individual person. It is  a passive aggressive emotion that hides behind the scenes acting as a catalyst for our anger, impulsivity, heartburn, headaches, or high blood pressure.  Sometimes it even goes by other aliases such as, stress or anxiety.

Oftentimes, to begin to handle Fear we must first deal with it’s protector Anger. Anger is the equivalent of the dumb Toady used to do the boss’s (Fear’s)  dirty work. Anger is an enabling emotion, which allows us to cope with our feelings of fear in a way that enables us to save face. There are many trite solutions to deal with Anger.  We can use coping skills such as visualization, patterned breathing, or counting. Unfortunately these are all simply different ways to keep anger contained.  We spend so much time trying to contain emotions like anger, that we never truly get to the root of the problem.

We approach healthcare much the same way.  When we are diagnosed with high blood pressure, we go on blood pressure medication.  When we are diagnosed with a cavity we get it filled.  All of these methods are well and good, but if used solely, only contain the symptoms, and do nothing to prevent them from returning.   To truly reduce our risk, we must get beyond containment and adjust some core behaviors and beliefs.  To contain our high blood pressure, it takes more than just medication, it takes eating better, exercising, etc.  To take care of our teeth, we must actually floss, brush and watch what we eat and drink EVERY day.

We must do more than contain just contain Anger, Stress,  and Anxiety, you must dissect it and try to identify the source.  When you find yourself reacting in a manner that is contrary to your normal reaction, take a moment and say to yourself—what is it that I am afraid of?  What am I worried about?  The answer to these questions will go a long way to helping you get past simply containing your emotions, and more in touch with root behaviors or beliefs that need to be adjusted!

What’s a map?

by: jczart

Technology is an amazing thing, and one of the most amazing pieces of technology we have is GPS.  Today I want to talk about something prior to GPS—and no it is not Mapquest.  Believe it or not, there was a time we used these things called MAPS.

Now I have only heard tale of these things called maps, but from the historical documents I have been able to obtain, it appears that these documents consisted of large folded pieces of paper that when unfolded, outlined major streets and thoroughfares in a city or state.

In short, these “maps” helped to provide a framework as you prepare to embark upon a journey.  From what I can tell, they did not actually tell you where to go—they did not route you through the most time-efficient path.  In fact, they actually didn’t do anything for you.  You still had to actually sit down and decide what route to take.  There was no voice activation, you could not highlight or reverse your route.  You were not warned when a turn was upcoming. All-in-all you can see why this wonderful experiment of “maps” has become extinct.

If you think about it, who really wants to go to all that work in order to drive somewhere?  It is much easier today because all the hard work as been taken out of the process.  Plus there is an added bonus—if and I stress IF you get lost while following your GPS, it isn’t really your fault!    Why? Because the GPS directed you wrong–How awesome is that?—it’s not like you sat down and decided on the route.  Our progression as a society is amazing.  You now can even get a street view of your destination, just on the off chance you can’t find it.

This has been a huge advancement for Mankind—and I do mean MANkind.  Men, who are notorious for not wanting to ask for directions, are now equipped in a way that they never have to ask for directions again!

Then again, there are some drawbacks to this technology thing.  For instance, sometimes you become so dependent on the technology, that when if fails you are really, really lost! In some ways we have become a society that has the technology to never be lost again.  In many ways, however, I think we are more lost than we have ever been.

We are so dependent on other people, or on other things that we don’t really invest ourselves in the outcome.  We let life happen to us, instead of sitting down and charting out a course.

We must be invested in the outcome. If you are not invested in the outcome you are simply waiting to “Reacquire” your signal.

The time is now.  Don’t wait for someone else to tell you how, or where you need to go. Don’t wait for someone else to fix the problem you see.  The minute you begin to invest yourself in a solution, is the minute you begin to move the needle.  I must warn you–there is some risk involved here, because when you do this, it is much harder to blame someone else when you make a mistake or a wrong turn!

We have become a generation of directionless, passionless, whiny human beings who talk about wanting to make a difference, but wait for the “right opportunity” before we begin. I do not know what kind of guidance or direction you need today, maybe it’s a problem at work, maybe it’s a relationship issue.   If you want something different out of your job–or your relationships—the direction is simple—-Get out your map—-chart your course—invest in the outcome and the changes will begin to take place—and coincidentally the change usually begins inside of you.

What’s the story?

We all have our own story.

Sometimes it is a romantic comedy, sometimes it is a thriller, and sometimes it resembles more of a horror film!  Regardless of what “genre” your story falls into at the moment, understand something, IT WILL CHANGE.  As our life goes, so goes our story.  Studies have shown that people who feel like they are accomplishing something, or have a sense of purpose are  more likely to be able to weather the ups and downs that accompany daily life.  Thus it stands to reason that the better we are at integrating our story with our purpose, the greater chance we have of maintaining a positive outlook and focus when our story begins to take a turn into tragedy.

All across this country, and this world, there are stories being told at this very moment.  One of the most beautiful things to witness is when these stories begin to be intertwined.  When groups of people come together for a common purpose and goal.  Everyone loves an underdog story.  Everything stacks up against us, everywhere we turn we are confronted by the likelihood of failure, and in a true underdog story, the group bands together, overcomes adversity, and ultimately triumphs against overwhelming odds.

At the end of the day we are all living an underdog story.  We have already beaten the odds by simply being born. With every breath we take, we are that much closer to our last.  Our bodies will break down, we will encounter pain, sickness, death, and heartbreak.  But if in the end we realize that we are all a part of a bigger underdog story, we are all here for a purpose, and we are all in this together, we begin to realize that our collective story is the story of humanity. We can choose to live in dissension and anger, which ultimately leads to pain and sadness, or we can begin to treat each person we encounter with the respect and love that their story deserves.  Some have no idea that they are in the middle of a story, because they are just concentrating on surviving until the next day.  For those more than most, they need to be reminded that their story counts just as much as any one else’s.  They need to understand that much of their story has yet to be written, and that you are in their life for a reason and a purpose.

Ultimately, they are all a part of my story as well. When my story reaches it’s conclusion I hope that I look back at my and realize that it was not all about my story at all, but rather about the stories I contributed to all around me.

Make a move…

Sometimes when we feel the most helpless–the most powerless, the most desperate it is because we feel that everything in our life is completely outside of our own control.   The truth is that sometimes there are some things that are out of our control, but simply learning to recognize those things will begin to completely change your perspective.  You can actually gain some power by realizing that you have none, as counter-intuitive as that may sound.  Now comes the hard part—just make a move!  Once you have identified what you are powerless to change right then and there, you can begin to concentrate what you can change. You would be surprised how taking an action step in one area of your life has a trickle down effect to other aspects of your life.  You don’t have to solve all of your problems at once–all you just have to pick one area and MAKE A MOVE—- and little by little you will start to feel in control over the craziness of life that usually tries to control you.

What’s in a name?

by scjody

What’s in a name?

These days we have seen it all, from Chad Ochocinco to Meta World Peace. We name our dogs, our cars, our companies, we spend a lot of time thinking of names.  How does it sound?  How does it look?  Some of us even practiced our signature over and over again, on the off chance we ever needed to sign hundreds of autographs after being drafted number one in the NBA draft and becoming one of the best basketball players to ever live. Wait…what?…you haven’t done that?  Hmmmm…yeah me neither!

What if we all had a “name?”  Not a traditional “Joe” or “Bill,” but a list of descriptors.  For instance, my name means “Brave Protector.” I don’t really know how brave I am, and have never been placed in many circumstances where I have had to be a “protector.”  I would like to think that I would live up to that name when push comes to shove.  If I was truly known as “Brave Protector,” how would that change my thoughts? Demeanor? Actions?

Imagine for a moment a world in which every name of every person was a list of descriptors about who we are and who we are supposed to be. Think back to myself, the “Brave Protector.”  What would happen every time that I was indeed weak, or afraid and not brave?  Every time I should stand up for someone who cannot stand up for themselves, but don’t.  To be honest, I think I would be careful as to who really knew my true “name,” because if they knew who I truly was and who I am supposed to be, they would be truly disappointed in me.

On the flip side, would I begin to form my identity around my descriptors?  Would I confront injustice when I see it? Would I be brave for those who live their lives in fear?

We have all been given names, more than a surname or a first name—some us have been named: dumb, ugly, worthless, selfish, egotistical, hypocritical, pothead, etc.  I would contend that more often than not, those names are not accurate descriptors of who you truly are… some  names  may describe our recent or past behavior,  but some are flat out FALSE.  So in the end…what name do you go by?  Maybe you need to change your name… maybe you need to live up to your name….maybe you need to let go of a name.

So ultimately, what is in a name? The answer is “a lot!”  Take a moment and think about your name—now take a moment to think about the names you have given to other people…maybe you need to rename them?  Maybe you need to let them know that you are renaming them (make amends).

Just some food for thought today!

Sincerely,

Brave Protector

Personal Accountability

Picture By Nick J Webb

What does it mean to have personal accountability?  Personal accountability means that it is never “them,” or “they,” or “you.”  Contrary to common “team based” approaches, it is also never “we.” Personal accountability is simply, “ME,” “MY,” or “I.”  If we use one of these words, it spurs us toward action instead of complacency, blame, or procrastination.  The questions quickly go from, “why won’t they stop doing that?”  To “how can I help with that.”  ”What is my role in this problem?”  Our world consistently tells us that everything is someone else’s fault.  Our bipartisan world is quick to point fingers at the other party or the 1%.  The truth is we must stop pointing fingers at other people and being pointing at ourselves.  Things will never improve, things will never be where we want them to be until we begin to focus on what we can do, and at the end of the day the only thing we can truly control is what we do.

Save the shoes

Sometimes we feel we are treading water, or worse sinking.  We work, strive, sweat and strain, and it all feels like it is for nothing.  Take a moment and heed some advice from a volunteer firefighter!  

Conflict, Arguments, Fights…

Very few people LIKE conflict, if you do, then we may need to do some testing.  Despite the fact that we do not enjoy conflict we continue to engage in it.  Sometimes it is unavoidable, sometimes we we think is unavoidable,  but a majority of the time conflict is the result of miscommunication, hurt feelings, and faulty presumptions. Conflict should be an opportunity to learn, increase insight, or perspective. In the end however conflict often deteriorates into a form of this…

How do you approach conflict?  Is it an opportunity to learn? Or do you simply want to win or be heard?

212 Degrees, just a little bit more can go a long way

The greatest show of all time…

Richard Anuszkiewicz – Orange, Rose and Magenta Knot (1986)”]

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Perspective, we lose it, we gain it, we shift it.  Our perspective is constantly changing.  The way we saw things as a child, are not the way we see them now.  The Dukes of Hazard was the best show on television, it was life changing, awe inspiring, and from a very early age, I refused to miss a single episode.  My parents love to tell the story of me throwing a tantrum around the age of 3 or 4 because I was going to miss the Friday night episode of “The Dukes.” A strange thing happened about 10 years ago, they began replaying old episodes of the Dukes of Hazard.  I sat down to watch the show that shaped my childhood memories, only to find that other than the theme song (still a classic), the show was not as good as it used to be.

Let’s be clear, the show had not changed.  George Lucas did not get a hold of the Dukes of Hazard and digitally enhance the General Lee. I, on the other hand, had changed. I had grown up, the world around me had changed, and my perspective on the Greatest Show of All Time had changed.

Oftentimes our perspective changes as we change.  There will be times when our world begins to crumble around us and we begin to experience the deepest lows; or you feel on top of the world and that things can never get any better.  In those moments, when you are looking back years, months, days or even hours later, you may come to the realization of just how minute your perspective had been.

There will be highs, there will be lows and the difference between the two is often just a matter of perspective.